We add the Sparkle to Christmas Parties


D’ye know the Johnny Cash song “A Boy named Sue?”

If you do, hold that thought while I fill you in a bit on the naming of Elves. Amras and Amrod are typical names for male elves. Beleg and Finarfin are other strong manly names in common use. 

There’s nothing ambivalent, ambiguous or ambidextrous about a name like Haldir, either – good harsh sounding, muscular name with a vague hint of menace about it. 

So if I tell you that my name is “Sparkle” you’ll get the “Boy named Sue” reference. I was the Elf Boy named Sparkle and, I won’t lie, it was a nightmare for the first 350 years of my life. To be honest, I nearly died of weariness. 

The endless slagging was more tedious than hurtful but what I really objected to was the brain numbing predictability of it all. “Hey Sparkle, where’s Twinkle?” they’d inevitably say. My Dad, Galdor (now there’s a name!) told me to grin and bear it and that’s pretty much what I did. I learned to take the metaphorical punches and, over time my “resting face” turned into this stupid grin with the big blue eyes thing going on. 

This Christmas gig at Croke Park came out of the blue. I’d been signed up as 2nd Elf for one of those ghastly Christmas shows in some random country but then spotted a Tweet about Christmas parties in Dublin – “Make your Christmas Party Sparkle” it announced. I’ll admit I read the tweet wrong thinking it was addressed to me but with a missing comma (as in “Make your Christmas Party, Sparkle!”). I engaged with the tweet and the rest is history. 

So far so good with the gig. My main role is to help the team sell the Christmas parties (I’m on a decent basic with commissions and, even though it’s not in the contract, if I’m discreet about it, I get to eat and drink for free). I’m also available for photo-shoots around the stadium and at The Croke Park hotel. So far I haven’t had to get my kit off as the guys here are happy enough with me in the standard issue elf uniform, even when I’m in the shower! I have to keep an eye on the sales team - make sure they’re watching out, not crying or pouting. Above all my job is to make sure they’re putting the SPARKLE in Christmas. 

I’ve been checking out what’s on offer around the city and the Croke Park SPARKLE Christmas bash is as close as you’d get to a full-on Elves’ Last Lash – our equivalent of a “Christmas party”. BTW, The Elves Last Lash at the end of the filming of Lord of the Rings was beyond wild. There are several cohorts of Elves that are still passed out!

But I digress.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog then you’ll have already read what’s on the menu at Croke Park. There are NO GRASSHOPPERS on this Christmas menu but in keeping with true Christmas tradition (and we all need some of that!) there are fabulous free range turkeys from our friend Eoin at Maperagh farm. That’s free range turkeys, not free, range turkeys! 

The party side of things is pretty much guaranteed by a dynamic and delectable duo of DJ Ruth Scott from Radio Nova and The Roadworn Frets, a band that knows more covers than you’d find in Arnott’s duvet department. If you love U2, Thin Lizzy and Bruce Springsteen (all of whom have played here at Croke Park), then you’ll love the Roadworn Frets, followed by all your chart and download favs with DJ John.

That’s as much as I have space for folks. If I’m not found out or sacked I’ll be on to you again before Christmas with lots more Sparkle. I’m lovin’ it in here and I guarantee you’ll love it too if you’ve signed up for a Christmas party.  Gavin tells me we have a couple of tables left on Friday 1st December so hope to see you here. 

If not, have a SPARKLE-tastic Christmas wherever you are (is it too early to say that??).

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